"Nature" by Eman Rana

Nature

What a beautiful thing it is

So serene

Peaceful

As if nothing in the world could hurt me

When I’m out here

I came here with dread

Disgust

But for the wrong reasons

What if i looked at this in a different perspective

I hated this

I hated leaving the ones I loved

Even for a few days

Now I can’t leave

I don’t want to leave

I want to stay out here until I become gray and old

I needed this

This isn’t a reunion

It’s a retreat

Away from school

Responsibilities

But I’m alone

And yet I’m not lonely

I feel at peace

My friends

Family

Grades

Future

They are all gone

Just

A second

Let me breathe

Breathe air that isn’t artificial

And stored away

Let me breathe the only air we have left

If I take a few steps I have choices;

Forward

Into the unknown. A place for me to clear my head. A place for me to figure out what and who I am before the world tries to do it for me. I’ll come back, not that you would care. I’ll leave for a while, walk, talk to myself, get lost. I’ll find my way back, I promise.

Backward

Into chaos. Ruin. Torment. Disaster. My life would resume. Time would count down. Nature will only be in my memory, until I find more.

What’s in those mountains

Is it quiet

With the birds that chirp peaceful songs

And the deer that roam free

Or loud

With the predators that roam the earth

Humans with blades

Guns

Fire

I can hear them

Begging to get me

Begging to pull me back in

Into the world I wasn’t ready for

Let me breathe

Let me explore

Discover

Listen

I don’t want to go back

I want to learn

Someone

Anyone

Teach me what I am

Who I am

Before they draw me in

In this wonderful nature

I can find myself

Before I go back

I can refresh the page

I can hit delete

Add

Delete

Add

Delete

Until I find it

Me.

For now;

Breathing

Listening

Being alone

This’ll work.

I hope we meet someday self. I hope we do.

But for now

I have to start over

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Photo Credit: Chase Golem