The Gifted Kid's Confession by Anonymous

they used to call me bright

giving me a star on every assignment

they placed me in honors

didn’t once consider the costs

soon “honors kid” became the identity

I did not place on myself but

others placed on me

she’s in honors

she must be smart

she’s in honors

she must be well behaved

she’s in honors

she must be incapable of B’s

such high expectations for a kid

did you ever realize

your constant praise for my performance

in academics led me to believe

I was only worth the letter I received?

A was the only letter acceptable for me

and then high school rolled around

why am I always letting others down?

why does my chase for academic validation

always end up in disappointment?

why do I need that A?

a B is not so bad

… right?

that one little point is staring back at me

I should’ve known the answer

I could’ve studied more

or guessed better

or stopped being so stupid

I should’ve gotten it

you see it’s a never-ending cycle

I study to get good grades,

I spend all of my time holed up in my room

until I end up slumped over my screen

my alarm rings but I’m exhausted

no wonder I didn’t get an A

disappointment meets me at the doorway

I should study more

don’t be lazy

don’t get distracted

don't procrastinate

don’t fall behind

they don’t realize

I already have

I’m too tired to stay awake in class

too exhausted to finish my homework

too burnt out to do anything anymore

why can’t I just get good grades like before?

what happened to me?

I used to love to read

I haven’t picked up a book in

over a year

I look in the mirror

I don’t see myself

all I see is

failure.