you exhaust me by Alyssa Ragsdale

a close friend of mine since grade 6,

that is what you have been

we are inseparable at times,

but we have our occasional breaks

truth is: those breaks are some of my best times

because i have never truly enjoyed your company

quite frankly, you exhaust me

this is shown in different ways

sometimes

depriving me of human emotions

leaving me as a shell of a person

stealing my ability to feel

other times

you send me into sensory overload

causing everything to affect me at the greatest extreme

my sense of control tends to shut down

now that aspect can look a few different ways:

sometimes i sob and sob over the dumbest things

or have angry outbursts for no reason at all

if i feel left out or isolated in any way

it overflows me with an immense amount of loneliness

making me think i am unlovable or unwanted

occasionally when things are good between us

i feel an overwhelming consumption of happiness

but as soon as the moment ends

i almost have to grieve the loss of it

i guess our relationship varies

it shows up in different forms

but the one constant is

a sense of enervation

and i just cant seem to fully rid myself of you

it has been four consecutive years of this

a back and forth battle within our friendship

i just wonder sometimes, depression

do you ever get tired too?